Get in better shape. Check. Drink less alcohol. Check. Find love. Check?
If finding love in the new year is one of your resolutions, you’re not alone. January is the busiest month when singles get online to find that special someone. This is a prime opportunity to meet new people, so don’t let it pass you by!
As a dating and relationship coach, I often hear from my clients, “Online dating didn’t work for me.” But when I look at my clients’ profiles, a common thread that they share is that they didn’t sell themselves well. It can be tough to brag about yourself, but it has to be done.
First impressions DO count, especially in the online dating world, where limitless options are only a click away. You have to separate yourself from the other profiles that all sound alike. The profiles where singles love to travel, can’t wait to dress up for a night on the town or are fine staying in wearing jeans and a t-shirt.
It’s important you get it right, so here are 5 ways to improve your profile to increase your chances of love in the new year:
1. Show effort.I’ve seen profiles where the only description written is, “I sound better over messaging. Ask me any question you want.” Give your potential match something to work with. If they’re frustrated and can’t think of what to say or ask you, they’ll probably skip to the next profile. And don’t forget to reach out to people! Yes, even you ladies! In the sea of endless online faces, it’s easy to overlook a match. Be active instead of waiting for someone to send you a message.
2. Pick great photos.Physical attraction consistently ranks as one of the most important things in a partner, so make your photos count.
- Your profile picture clearly shows your face. Attraction is important to people, so make sure they have a clear idea of what you look like. Look at the camera and smile!
- Have a full-body picture. People don’t want any surprises on a first date.
- Have more than one photo. People can look differently in pictures. Having more than one gives them a better idea of your looks.
- Avoid multiple group photos. Playing “Where’s Waldo?” in group photos can be frustrating. Make it easy for your potential date by limiting the group photos to one.
- Showcase you. Some apps have a photo limit. Don’t waste precious space by including pet pics, nature pics, or your alma mater’s logo.
3. Describe 3-5 important things about you.Many of my clients also waste space describing things that don’t matter. You don’t have to go into great specifics about your workout routine for someone to know that staying active is important to you. Save the details for the date. But do pick 5 traits that portray you and briefly describe that trait in action. Instead of “Being healthy is important to me,” write, “You’ll usually find me running along the lakefront, or my current favorite, Flywheel.” You will attract the kind of person who values the same things as you.
4. Pick 3-5 traits in your mate.What traits are your non-negotiables? Frame them positively. Instead of saying, “I can’t be with a couch potato,” you can say, “Some things that jazz me up: photography, playing tourist, and the local restaurant scene.”
5. Don’t take it personally.Someone doesn’t respond to a message that you write? You had a great first date but no call back? Don’t make it about you. At this point in dating, people are still strangers to you. You don’t know their history. Fear of rejection can keep you out of the game and single. Keep believing in your awesomeness and reach out to people. The next person you contact might just be a great match.
With some effort, pictures that clearly show the fabulous you, and highlighting your best traits, you can make online dating work for you in the new year.