Natasha Lindor

Natasha Lindor

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Career / Life Balance

The One Strategy You Need to Manage a Flurry of Invites

 

If you’re swimming in invites these days, you aren’t  alone.

This time of year through the end of the summer usually means an increase in social invites and planning: baby showers, wedding showers, weddings, summer vacations, festivals and long weekend trips … on top of all the “regular” stuff on your plate like going to work, eating, working out, laundry and being there for loved ones.


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No matter how ambitious you are, there are still 24 hours in any one day. BUT you always have a choice in how you feel during those hours.

How you spend your 24 hours is the difference between:

  • how happy and unhappy you are
  • how relaxed and stressed you are
  • embracing life and just getting through each day

Want to be happier and more relaxed even though you’re swimming in a sea of invites? This month’s Enjoy Your #SocialLife Challenge will be the life jacket that helps you do just that.

There will never be a shortage of opportunities, things to do and people with demands on your time. That’s why it’s essential to master how to say ‘no’.

The first step to a mindful and respectful ‘no’ is to separate the request from the relationship.

Requests from a boss, colleague or loved one often seem so connected to your relationship that it feels like you have no choice but to say yes. Otherwise, it will seem like you don’t care about the other person.

So in an effort to be helpful and avoid conflict, you say yes to things:

  1. You don’t want to do
  2. You will later regret
  3. Both A and B

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What Happens When You Separate the Request From the Relationship and Say ‘No’

You improve your relationship with the other person

When you agree to do something you can’t follow through on, you end up disappointing the other person.

If you say no at the beginning, you allow them to find someone else who has the time and bandwidth.

You empower other people

Just because it’s not a fit for you doesn’t mean it isn’t a fit for someone else. As my mom always says, “Different strokes for different folks.”

When you agree to do something that you know isn’t a fit, you take the opportunity away from someone who would consider the opportunity.

You create more time for what’s most important to you

When you only say yes to things that align with what is most important to you and you can follow through on, guess what happens?

Your life is filled with people, experiences and situations that fuel you.

You respect yourself and what’s important to you

Would you knowingly add stress to someone you respect? The more you say yes to EVERYTHING AND EVERYONE, the more stress you experience.

Show yourself some respect and be more selective about what you say yes to. When you feel respected by the most important person to your happiness and success (YOU!), you end up having more energy, focus and creativity to enjoy your life a little more.

You teach others to respect you

You teach others how to treat you. If you say yes to EVERYTHING AND EVERYONE, you become a doormat who always says yes.

If you’re careful about what you say yes to and look to create win-win situations, you become a valuable and respected partner.

You take back control of your own decisions

When you take the time to say no mindfully and respectfully instead of being rushed into saying yes every time you’re asked to do something, you make decisions that reflect what you say you want.

Separating the request from the relationship allows you to:

  • Make a clear decision that works best for everyone involved
  • Frees you from the wasted time and energy of feeling guilty if you say no, and
  • Stops you from kicking yourself if you say yes to something that gets more complicated and you didn’t want to do in the first place.

Enjoy Your #SocialLife Challenge

The next someone asks you to do something you don’t want to, separate the request from the relationship by respectfully and mindfully say ‘No’.

Remember: You always have a choice. You don’t have to drown in the sea of invites.

You can choose to do something now to take control and have more time for the people, experiences and situations that fuel you.

It starts with separating the request from the relationship so you can say ‘No’ mindfully and respectfully one time this week.

So what’ll it be? Will you say ‘No’ to going to lunch with the co-worker who complains all day? An invitation from a friend? A perceived family obligation?

I believe in you and your happiness. You can do this, and I’m here to help you make this year and beyond your best years yet — without compromising your success and what matters most.
Learning how to separate the request from the relationship is one of the five secrets to having more time for what’s most important. If you feel like you’re too busy to enjoy your life, click here to get four more secrets to have more time for you.

Career / Life Balance

How Successful People Find Balance (Even When There’s Still More to Do)

If you feel like you’re constantly behind no matter how hard you work, The SOCIAL Life’s Natasha Lindor is here to help you feel balanced and further ahead (even when you’ve got unfinished to-dos).

If you’re like most driven people, you’re all about getting things done. Your days start and end with checking things off your list, and you take pride in being organized and productive.

The problem is that there will always be something more to do. When you’re a high-achieving go-getter, there is never an “end.” Just thinking about all that you could or “should” be doing makes you feel miserable. (And, who wants to add misery?)

The good news is that this month’s Enjoy Your #SocialLife Challenge will shift your focus so you can actually find balance and feel great about what you’ve accomplished, even though you still have a long list of to-dos.

If you want to feel energized and motivated at the end of the day even with unfinished items on your list, take a cue from happy, successful people and focus on what really matters: what you have done.

When you have big goals in mind, it’s easy to get in the habit of focusing on everything you still have to do and miss the chance to give yourself enough credit for the hard work and dedication you’ve invested toward your vision.

Let’s say you’re looking for a new job and you updated your resume. Sure, you still have lots of other things to do in order to find a job (like reach out to contacts and write a cover letter) on top of your everyday to-dos.

The issue with this tunnel vision is that if you focus on everything ahead of you, you’ll quickly find yourself stressed and feeling very overwhelmed with little energy and motivation. This special kind of overwhelm slump makes it impossible to get anything done. (And whatever gets done will either not be your best work or the effort you put into it will leave you feeling very drained.)

When you do take the two to three minutes to reflect and really acknowledge the steps you’ve taken towards getting the new job, you’re actually rewarding yourself with a boost in your spirit that will help power you through the next round of to-dos. (Now that sounds like the type of energy you need to be productive!)

This is a lot simpler than you may think.

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Reframe your To-Dos into Ta-das. Pay attention to what you’ve accomplished by highlighting the to-dos you’ve completed in your favorite color to “celebrate” your progress. Or if you love making lists, you can keep a running list of everything you’ve accomplished.

Whichever option you choose, this simple reframe creates a motivating focus on the progress you made during the day instead of pushing you to beat yourself up for what didn’t get done.

The Ta-Da list is a great way to create balance in this beautiful journey called life so you don’t have to wait for everything to be done to finally feel satisfied.

Taking just one or two minutes to reflect allows you to check in on your progress, acknowledge your accomplishments and make adjustments as needed to get things done without adding additional stress on yourself. (Because, who needs more stress?!)

Enjoy Your #SocialLife Challenge

Start a Ta-Da list to keep track of the progress you are making so you can celebrate your successes (even the small ones). This simple practice will help you find balance even when you have unfinished items on your list.

And if you’re ready to really take your happiness to the next level, be sure to grab this month’s special bonus gift (it’s FREE!).

Remember: You always have a choice. You don’t have to feel constantly behind, no matter how hard you work.

You can choose to do something now to find balance even when there’s more to do. Start by taking a couple minutes daily or weekly to capture your Ta-Das and download these 10 powerful questions for more happiness and success in the next 12 months.

I believe in you and your happiness. You can do this, and I’m here to help you make this year and beyond your best years yet — without compromising your success and what matters most.

Career / Life Balance

The ONE Trick to Stop Comparing Yourself to Others and Enjoy Your Life Now More Than Ever

By Natasha Lindor | @NatashaLindor

If you’re like most people, you enjoy your life a lot more when you feel confident and happy about what you’ve got going on. Today’s Enjoy Your #SocialLife Challenge will help you make the next 12 months more amazing than the past 12 months. (Fortunately there is no limit to the amount of joy and happiness you can experience in any area of your life … no matter what has been true for you up until this point.) Read More

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