The One Strategy You Need to Manage a Flurry of Invites - Social Sparkling Wine

Career / Life Balance

The One Strategy You Need to Manage a Flurry of Invites

 

If you’re swimming in invites these days, you aren’t  alone.

This time of year through the end of the summer usually means an increase in social invites and planning: baby showers, wedding showers, weddings, summer vacations, festivals and long weekend trips … on top of all the “regular” stuff on your plate like going to work, eating, working out, laundry and being there for loved ones.


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No matter how ambitious you are, there are still 24 hours in any one day. BUT you always have a choice in how you feel during those hours.

How you spend your 24 hours is the difference between:

  • how happy and unhappy you are
  • how relaxed and stressed you are
  • embracing life and just getting through each day

Want to be happier and more relaxed even though you’re swimming in a sea of invites? This month’s Enjoy Your #SocialLife Challenge will be the life jacket that helps you do just that.

There will never be a shortage of opportunities, things to do and people with demands on your time. That’s why it’s essential to master how to say ‘no’.

The first step to a mindful and respectful ‘no’ is to separate the request from the relationship.

Requests from a boss, colleague or loved one often seem so connected to your relationship that it feels like you have no choice but to say yes. Otherwise, it will seem like you don’t care about the other person.

So in an effort to be helpful and avoid conflict, you say yes to things:

  1. You don’t want to do
  2. You will later regret
  3. Both A and B

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What Happens When You Separate the Request From the Relationship and Say ‘No’

You improve your relationship with the other person

When you agree to do something you can’t follow through on, you end up disappointing the other person.

If you say no at the beginning, you allow them to find someone else who has the time and bandwidth.

You empower other people

Just because it’s not a fit for you doesn’t mean it isn’t a fit for someone else. As my mom always says, “Different strokes for different folks.”

When you agree to do something that you know isn’t a fit, you take the opportunity away from someone who would consider the opportunity.

You create more time for what’s most important to you

When you only say yes to things that align with what is most important to you and you can follow through on, guess what happens?

Your life is filled with people, experiences and situations that fuel you.

You respect yourself and what’s important to you

Would you knowingly add stress to someone you respect? The more you say yes to EVERYTHING AND EVERYONE, the more stress you experience.

Show yourself some respect and be more selective about what you say yes to. When you feel respected by the most important person to your happiness and success (YOU!), you end up having more energy, focus and creativity to enjoy your life a little more.

You teach others to respect you

You teach others how to treat you. If you say yes to EVERYTHING AND EVERYONE, you become a doormat who always says yes.

If you’re careful about what you say yes to and look to create win-win situations, you become a valuable and respected partner.

You take back control of your own decisions

When you take the time to say no mindfully and respectfully instead of being rushed into saying yes every time you’re asked to do something, you make decisions that reflect what you say you want.

Separating the request from the relationship allows you to:

  • Make a clear decision that works best for everyone involved
  • Frees you from the wasted time and energy of feeling guilty if you say no, and
  • Stops you from kicking yourself if you say yes to something that gets more complicated and you didn’t want to do in the first place.

Enjoy Your #SocialLife Challenge

The next someone asks you to do something you don’t want to, separate the request from the relationship by respectfully and mindfully say ‘No’.

Remember: You always have a choice. You don’t have to drown in the sea of invites.

You can choose to do something now to take control and have more time for the people, experiences and situations that fuel you.

It starts with separating the request from the relationship so you can say ‘No’ mindfully and respectfully one time this week.

So what’ll it be? Will you say ‘No’ to going to lunch with the co-worker who complains all day? An invitation from a friend? A perceived family obligation?

I believe in you and your happiness. You can do this, and I’m here to help you make this year and beyond your best years yet — without compromising your success and what matters most.
Learning how to separate the request from the relationship is one of the five secrets to having more time for what’s most important. If you feel like you’re too busy to enjoy your life, click here to get four more secrets to have more time for you.

Love

A Woman’s Top Dating Mistake

You finally met someone. You’ve had several email and text exchanges, and maybe had a date or two. You think this person is great, and you wonder if he could be “The One”?

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The only problem is, you barely even know the guy.

Have you ever built a guy up in your head before actually meeting him or only after a few dates? I work with many women who get caught up in meeting someone new. They tell me how much they really like him and how they hope things will work out. If it won’t, they’ll be devastated and think they will never find love.

Slow. It. Down.

When you first meet someone, sure it’s fun to be so excited at this new prospect, but you also have to keep a level head. If you put your date on a pedestal by idealizing him, you risk feeling more self-conscious, the need to prove yourself to him, and doing whatever it takes to win him over and get him to like you.

You’re also much more likely to miss red flags because you only see what you want to see – you want things to work so badly that you ignore or dismiss problems. And what if things don’t progress beyond the first few dates? If you’ve fantasized about a future together, you’ll be crushed, and your self-esteem can take a major hit.

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One of the most common things I hear as a dating coach is, “What’s wrong with me? Why didn’t that person like me?” I know it can be hard, but don’t base your self-worth on what happens after that first date or first few dates.
Your date is still a stranger to you. You don’t know this guy well enough yet to truly know why he stopped seeing you. There are so many variables (like timing, stress at work or an ex coming back into the picture) that affect dating that I encourage you not to take things personally.

And some of my clients are so focused on getting the guy to like them that they forget to ask themselves, “Do I even like him?” I’m not talking about experiencing feelings of infatuation, but can you truly name several qualities or values that you admire about your date? It’s simple to list common interests, but it’s easier on a long-term relationship when a couple shares similar values. It takes time to see how your date lives out his values; it’s not something you can fully know on just a date or two.

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It takes time to get to know someone. If you’re dating for a long-term relationship, you want to take your time to determine if your guy is a good fit for you. Fantasizing about a relationship without even knowing him will leave you with more to lose than gain.

 

Style

2017’s Color of the Year – Rose Quartz!

Miranda Priestly from The Devil Wears Prada famously snipped “Florals for Spring,  how innovative!” It would seem every spring the fashion forecast brings us floral print after floral print , but there’s a new Spring trend in town…rose quartz.


Not only is rose quartz the Pantone color of the year for 2016, it’s  also one of the hottest and trendiest colors for Spring 2016. The best part about this light blush tone is that it looks good on everyone. Every skin tone, every hair color is complemented by this light, cool pink shade. Now that you’re up on this trendy hue, let’s look at a few ways to wear rose quartz so that you can begin building your wardrobe of accessories for 2016 in this pastel and put together shade.

Wear a rose quartz bag:

image (1)A bag in rose quartz is a stylish departure from the matte black bag we’ve been carrying all fall and winter. We are loving the mini bag trend seen on the runways in recent seasons, and the fervor and demand for these gorgeous little minis is at a fever pitch! To keep the petite pink bag from looking too dainty, pair it with black solids and textures like leather and black lace.

Wear it as a statement piece:

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A furry faux fur shrug, wrap, or coat is a cool nod to the 90s and so on trend.  You can add a statement piece in rose quartz to really maximize how you’re wearing this must have color. A bit more sophisticated than baby pink, it looks glam with all black looks or beige and white solids. Make the rest of your outfit light on detail, you’ll want your faux fur wrap or shrug to be your exclamation point!

Put pink in unexpected places:

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A pair of slightly unisex looking gladiators gets the glam treatment when you buy them in rose quartz. The perfect tone on tone pedicure is all you need to complete the look. This unexpected and refreshing color can be treated like a neutral when it comes to shoes and bags, so don’t be afraid to don it with your orange sundress or a cool white and blue short and tank ensemble.

Wear it as a full outfit!
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Monochrome and monotone looks are all the rage among the fashion elite. Rock a head to toe rose quartz look to be deliciously on trend and cutting edge. Buy up pieces in rose quartz and mix them in with your wardrobe staples, so even when the color falls off the fashion radar and a new hue takes hold…you’ll still be looking pretty in pink.

 

 

Fitness

Exercise Tips for the Traveling Gal

Last year I took more than 30 flights – some domestic, some international.  And for those of you doing the math, that means I was flying to different cities at least twice a month. Between client meetings, video shoots, and visiting my long distance boyfriend, 2015 was definitely a year of travel.  And so far, 2016 is putting up the same kind of numbers!

For all of your traveling gals out there, I’m here to say that traveling does NOT need to get in the way of your fitness.  In fact, traveling can make fitness even more fun!   Read More

Love

Two Pieces of Bad First Date Advice That You Shouldn’t Listen to

By Anita Chlipala | @AnitaOnLove

There’s so much dating advice on the internet these days, and some of it makes me cringe, especially when it comes to what not to do on a first date. The first date is particularly important because as much as you may text each other before the date, nothing matters more than first impressions and the conversation that follows. Below are two pieces of bad first date advice that you should never follow: Read More

Beauty

Now Trending in Beauty… Turmeric

Turmeric isn’t a spice I cook with much, but I’m all about it in my beauty routine. The spice rack is a great source of skin care, as it turns out. Chances are, you’ve seen this bright yellow, almost orange, Indian spice popping up lately as more than just an ingredient in food. Throughout history, it’s been used as a beauty product but it’s more recently seen as a modern day miracle for skin. It’s “anti” everything – bacterial, inflammatory oxidant, septic – and is said to naturally brighten and smooth skin. With a resume that strong, it is worth experimenting with turmeric.

Here are a few tips to turmeric-ing.

First, go ground. You can purchase a high quality spice rather inexpensively on your next SOCIAL run at Mariano’s (if in Chicago!) in bulk. It’s easier to work with in powder form, but you’re more than welcome to experiment with it in root form if you like a challenge.

Mix it up. Take a creamy medium – like greek yogurt or Manuka honey and – and blend it with a teaspoon of ground turmeric and apply as a face mask. Leave on for 10-15 minutes before rinsing off.

Add your daily dose of vitamin C. Try mixing turmeric with orange juice and creating a paste that you can cleanse with or use as a mask (for 3-5 minutes). It will be extra bright in color but a powerhouse for treating blemishes.

Not into the DIY? Not to worry. Kiehl’s Tumeric & Cranberry Seed Energizing Radiance Masque is an excellent alternative. The cranberry seeds lightly exfoliate skin as you rinse off and the combo reveals an instantly brighter complexion.

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Career / Life Balance

How Successful People Find Balance (Even When There’s Still More to Do)

If you feel like you’re constantly behind no matter how hard you work, The SOCIAL Life’s Natasha Lindor is here to help you feel balanced and further ahead (even when you’ve got unfinished to-dos).

If you’re like most driven people, you’re all about getting things done. Your days start and end with checking things off your list, and you take pride in being organized and productive.

The problem is that there will always be something more to do. When you’re a high-achieving go-getter, there is never an “end.” Just thinking about all that you could or “should” be doing makes you feel miserable. (And, who wants to add misery?)

The good news is that this month’s Enjoy Your #SocialLife Challenge will shift your focus so you can actually find balance and feel great about what you’ve accomplished, even though you still have a long list of to-dos.

If you want to feel energized and motivated at the end of the day even with unfinished items on your list, take a cue from happy, successful people and focus on what really matters: what you have done.

When you have big goals in mind, it’s easy to get in the habit of focusing on everything you still have to do and miss the chance to give yourself enough credit for the hard work and dedication you’ve invested toward your vision.

Let’s say you’re looking for a new job and you updated your resume. Sure, you still have lots of other things to do in order to find a job (like reach out to contacts and write a cover letter) on top of your everyday to-dos.

The issue with this tunnel vision is that if you focus on everything ahead of you, you’ll quickly find yourself stressed and feeling very overwhelmed with little energy and motivation. This special kind of overwhelm slump makes it impossible to get anything done. (And whatever gets done will either not be your best work or the effort you put into it will leave you feeling very drained.)

When you do take the two to three minutes to reflect and really acknowledge the steps you’ve taken towards getting the new job, you’re actually rewarding yourself with a boost in your spirit that will help power you through the next round of to-dos. (Now that sounds like the type of energy you need to be productive!)

This is a lot simpler than you may think.

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Reframe your To-Dos into Ta-das. Pay attention to what you’ve accomplished by highlighting the to-dos you’ve completed in your favorite color to “celebrate” your progress. Or if you love making lists, you can keep a running list of everything you’ve accomplished.

Whichever option you choose, this simple reframe creates a motivating focus on the progress you made during the day instead of pushing you to beat yourself up for what didn’t get done.

The Ta-Da list is a great way to create balance in this beautiful journey called life so you don’t have to wait for everything to be done to finally feel satisfied.

Taking just one or two minutes to reflect allows you to check in on your progress, acknowledge your accomplishments and make adjustments as needed to get things done without adding additional stress on yourself. (Because, who needs more stress?!)

Enjoy Your #SocialLife Challenge

Start a Ta-Da list to keep track of the progress you are making so you can celebrate your successes (even the small ones). This simple practice will help you find balance even when you have unfinished items on your list.

And if you’re ready to really take your happiness to the next level, be sure to grab this month’s special bonus gift (it’s FREE!).

Remember: You always have a choice. You don’t have to feel constantly behind, no matter how hard you work.

You can choose to do something now to find balance even when there’s more to do. Start by taking a couple minutes daily or weekly to capture your Ta-Das and download these 10 powerful questions for more happiness and success in the next 12 months.

I believe in you and your happiness. You can do this, and I’m here to help you make this year and beyond your best years yet — without compromising your success and what matters most.

Fitness

To Lift or not to Lift?

Ladies, I’m not going to lie to you. Every time I enter the weight room at the gym, I feel like all the men stop what they are doing and stare at me. I think part of that is because I am usually the only woman to venture into that specific area of the club.   (I’ll admit, it’s a little intimidating!) But I think the other reason why they are staring at me is that they aren’t used to seeing a female lift such heavy weights.

Read More

Beauty

Take it All Off

By Laurie Leopold | @312Beauty

Hello, February. Maybe it’s just my Facebook feed, but I’ve been targeted heavily with lingerie ads. Have you noticed it, too? ‘Tis the season, I suppose.  As a result, I’ve acquired a few new cheeky lace underthings. Whether you’ve gotten your date night or Galentine’s on, you’ve likely dialed up everything for a night or two this month. You know, the makeup and the sexy layers underneath. But what happens at the end of the night? Do you take it all off? I mean, your makeup. Every last swipe of eyeliner? Are you washing your face no matter the situation?

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While I might take it to the extreme – I’ve been known to pack a Clarisonic in my “spending the night purse” – removing your makeup at the end of the night leads to feeling more confident and comfortable the next morning. Hey, I get it. Sometimes that extra step is too much and it doesn’t happen.  Adina Grigore, founder of S.W. Basics, authors some sage advice in her book, Skin Cleanse. As she says, if you’re going to be “lazy” about makeup removal, eye makeup is actually the least of your worries. The more makeup sits on our skin and the more we layer it on without truly removing, the more it builds. In a pinch, Adina recommends even grabbing olive oil and a cotton ball. “You don’t need to worry about washing them off. Just keep wiping until the makeup is gone and the cotton ball looks clean,” she explains.

I mean, everyone has olive oil in their pantry, right?

If raiding your date’s cabinets aren’t quite your speed, there are some other options. RMS Beauty Coconut Oil Wipes are a 100% eco-friendly towelette that has just the right amount of coconut oil to remove all of your makeup and moisturize your face at the same time. Or, there’s the mini 2oz jar of Cocovit Coconut Oil – also made in Chicago – that can double as a lip and hand balm for those times you aren’t trying to remove makeup.

 

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